As the leaves from spring trees tire
and flutter to the ground,
somewhere waves are crashing
and wind whispers all around.
The thoughts that drift inside her mind
were never quite as clear
as the day when every single thought
lingered somewhere near.
Everything was going great and
nothing could go wrong.
It was the day she was longing for
and needed for so long.
Until the moment she realized
a thought she knew was real.
The thought that no one ever cared
or knew how she could feel.
The day that was so perfect,
she couldn’t cry a tear
turned out to be the day she knew
the end is getting near.
Has it been this way forever?
Has no one ever cared?
Was it all just a waste of time,
the thoughts that she had shared?
She thought of all those people
who made something seem alright.
But, where were all her so-called friends
when she needed them tonight?
If no one cared how she felt,
not one single friend,
maybe someone would care a bit
if she made her whole life end.
She sat and thought about it
for a moment and no more
and just a moment later
she was lying on the floor.
So, as the sky darkens again
and clouds return to gray,
somewhere someone was crying
but their tears now fade away.
I wrote this poem in 1993. I was thirteen. I didn’t know anyone else could feel like this.
Twenty years later, and completely unintentionally, I found myself working in the pediatric unit of a hospital where I cared for dozens of suicidal children. That was both a painful and powerful experience.
Depression and anxiety are real. If you know anyone who is suffering, speak up.
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE: 1-800-273-8255.
SUICIDE PREVENTION OUTSIDE THE U.S.: CLICK HERE
Therapy is healthy and it’s okay to talk about mental health!